Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
