ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
