Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
