I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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