So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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