thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Bring me that man meat
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
