is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Randomize
