Texts From Last Night

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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex

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  (712): I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex http://tfl.nu/ubpb
  Replies (20) Good night (3625) Bad night (970)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.

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  (703): in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry. http://tfl.nu/nber
  Replies (2) Good night (4314) Bad night (764)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.

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  (203): He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later. http://tfl.nu/9zcr
  Replies (33) Good night (11232) Bad night (871)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...

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  (804): he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ... http://tfl.nu/7lew
  Replies (30) Good night (4040) Bad night (924)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.

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  (931): Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame. http://tfl.nu/0khd
  Replies (23) Good night (4603) Bad night (1344)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.

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  (316): How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously. http://tfl.nu/n6dt
  Replies (15) Good night (2671) Bad night (1860)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.

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  (505): All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice. http://tfl.nu/9vs4
  Replies (9) Good night (2864) Bad night (1162)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.

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  (414): Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things. http://tfl.nu/uvud
  Replies (4) Good night (3284) Bad night (1393)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning

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  (412): we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning http://tfl.nu/vjbm
  Replies (7) Good night (3224) Bad night (739)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.

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  (941): He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward. http://tfl.nu/8plk
  Replies (33) Good night (2787) Bad night (974)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12

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  (845): Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12 http://tfl.nu/01a6
  Replies (6) Good night (2469) Bad night (571)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers

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  (248): I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers http://tfl.nu/pmtt
  Replies (6) Good night (782) Bad night (295)
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  (212): View more from New York

  He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color

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  (212): He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color http://tfl.nu/b4a7
  Replies (4) Good night (319) Bad night (520)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.

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  (770): Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes. http://tfl.nu/ubpd
  Replies (1) Good night (436) Bad night (435)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants

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  (281): This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants http://tfl.nu/8brd
  Replies (3) Good night (503) Bad night (173)

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