Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep http://tfl.nu/zumz
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand http://tfl.nu/y2lh
  Replies (10) Good night (642) Bad night (1598)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem http://tfl.nu/p4jh
  Replies (19) Good night (4754) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels. http://tfl.nu/nz1k
  Replies (5) Good night (4573) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor. http://tfl.nu/s5q7
  Replies (21) Good night (2056) Bad night (4391)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind" http://tfl.nu/r0zl
  Replies (4) Good night (2620) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air". http://tfl.nu/l9as
  Replies (4) Good night (1052) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now. http://tfl.nu/s7lw
  Replies (6) Good night (842) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/7j2p
  Replies (3) Good night (446) Bad night (1141)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug. http://tfl.nu/ikjc
  Replies (2) Good night (1170) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver http://tfl.nu/xi4h
  Replies (7) Good night (917) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It happened again.

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  What?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): It happened again. (612): What? (651): I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now. http://tfl.nu/fx7i
  Replies (8) Good night (1706) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes http://tfl.nu/f5p7
  Replies (2) Good night (332) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer http://tfl.nu/jd4w
  Replies (3) Good night (421) Bad night (179)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot. http://tfl.nu/dd00
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (215)

Randomize