dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
porn star boner night. come get it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America