Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.