Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God

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  (313): My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God http://tfl.nu/eo8x
  Replies (5) Good night (832) Bad night (1191) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?

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  (603): Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar? http://tfl.nu/vt9e
  Replies (2) Good night (1225) Bad night (438)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  please come you make the beer taste better

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  (520): please come you make the beer taste better http://tfl.nu/dzlt
  Replies (16) Good night (4668) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.

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  (240): So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak. http://tfl.nu/34fx
  Replies (30) Good night (5568) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.

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  (760): The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too. http://tfl.nu/fqh3
  Replies (3) Good night (3358) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.

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  (515): On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it. http://tfl.nu/mvhu
  Replies (12) Good night (6802) Bad night (1043) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.

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  (817): she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it. http://tfl.nu/rt8c
  Replies (10) Good night (3802) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.

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  (815): She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water. http://tfl.nu/94yr
  Replies (8) Good night (4944) Bad night (1056) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college

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  (847): i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college http://tfl.nu/qor8
  Replies (5) Good night (3571) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult

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  (972): Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult http://tfl.nu/j3hz
  Replies (5) Good night (1140) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"

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  (778): I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie" http://tfl.nu/vq1n
  Replies (17) Good night (1906) Bad night (1322) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I wish they made people sized litter boxes.

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  (519): I wish they made people sized litter boxes. http://tfl.nu/qgr4
  Replies (11) Good night (577) Bad night (1451) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted

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  (512): I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted http://tfl.nu/8clw
  Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.

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  (402): I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men. http://tfl.nu/t0j9
  Replies (14) Good night (2507) Bad night (474)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"

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  (631): Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet" http://tfl.nu/2suf
  Replies (12) Good night (1027) Bad night (340)

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