we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face