I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
