Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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