At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
