you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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