Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
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Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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