There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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