Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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