I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
