I cockslap morals
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
