Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
