my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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