just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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