what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
