So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
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A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
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Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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