I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
