Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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