just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i will never coherently bang her
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
