escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he fucked my hip out of place.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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