It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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