that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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