Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
