I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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