Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
