I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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