Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
