Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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