That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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