I just made out with a guy for $7.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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