Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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