saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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