I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
