His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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