I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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