I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
