I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
