And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
