im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
