Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
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