so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
