Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
