Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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