I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
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It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
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Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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