it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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