she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
