I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
