How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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