My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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