he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
