Plan B is the new Plan A
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
