If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The beer is more important than you right now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
