wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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